By Patricia E Cherry
People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Each one of us is an individual and we have as many different body shapes as we do faces. Except for identical twins, there are no two faces the same.
Yet many of us are trying to emulate the latest look.
Ridiculous statements come from the press when talking about fashion. "Boobs are out of fashion" or "The look this Autumn is narrow hips!" As if we can change our body shapes to keep up with the fashion! What happens the following year when boobs are back in fashion again?
Yet people fall for this, and try to diet to change their shape. If they can't, they will go for liposuction or plastic surgery.
People go to extreme measures to be thin. Some of the diets that come around are simply Starvation diets. The dieter can get to look emaciated, and I wonder what is going to happen to their bodies as they get older.
Are they going to lose bone density?
Are they going to be able to fight disease?
There will be no nutrients in their bodies to fall back on when they are ill.
Can anyone define the point of danger these days?
We have a BMI table, which uses a graph to show if we are underweight, overweight, obese or morbidly obese. A healthy BMI is meant to be between 19 and 25. It is reckoned that between 25 and 30 is overweight. 30 to 35 is in the obese category, and 35 onwards is counted as morbidly obese.
I have a BMI of 26. But I am healthier than I have ever been, and I have friends who say the same about themselves. Current studies are questioning whether being in the overweight category is safer than the normal weight.
Yet we are still in the midst of an Obesity Epidemic. We demand that people be thin to be accepted, but bodies are becoming fatter! Consequently we are losing touch with the realities of what our bodies need and we only look at what we should or should not eat.
We watch people in restaurants, and if they are fat, we judge what they are eating. We use phrases like "Oh, you are being good!" I hate that phrase and it is generally only used if you are eating a salad!
When you are eating out, what do you base your choices on?
How long is it since you chose what you really want?
Perhaps your choice is based on what people will think!
There are many reasons why people choose what they are going to eat, but very rarely for the right reasons. If they indulge they feel guilty and probably say that they will go back on the diet tomorrow! If they omit a certain food that can get a comment - or the person concerned feels the need to explain why.
Often heard is the phrase "It isn't fair; she eats all that and never puts on an ounce." I well remember when I was stuck in my dieting days, sitting in a pub with my husband, and watching people have their dessert. I did not have one, but looked on in envy thinking, "It's not fair, none of these people has a weight problem, yet I do, and I am the one who is going without!" But the question is "What wasn't fair?"
How did I know? How could I tell what anyone was doing at home? I was only seeing what was going on in the pub at that given moment! I was feeling indignant but had no grounds to feel that way. For all I knew she may stick to a diet at home and was eating out for a treat!
Although I had weight issues in the past, and although I have been overweight by a stone in the last few years, actually for the last twenty one years of my life I have been a reasonable size. Perhaps this may be slightly over weight but by whose standards?
I have had people say to me "Why do you worry about your weight? You haven't got any weight problems". They are assuming that because I look slim, there is no weight issue. They don't see all the hard work that goes into being slim! I then have to tell them that I am slim, because I work at being slim.
Having said that though, I don't have any issues with my weight now, as I have sorted out exactly what I can eat, and I stick to it. It is ironic that now I get accused of being finicky! But I don't mind at all because that is far better than to be worrying about slimming!
Many people I meet who have weight issues cannot accept that we have a choice. We either need to eat properly and not indulge in sugary, starchy or refined foods, or we put up with being fat! We can't have it both ways. But saying, "It's not fair" is self indulgent!
This all came to mind today when I was sitting with a friend who was tucking into a giant muffin! She always asks if I am going to have something to eat when we have coffee out. She cannot accept that actually I am happy not to have anything to eat!
When I am in other people's houses, and I say no to something that they offer me, they look so surprised and feel sorry for me because I can't have it. I can't persuade them that I simply don't want it! They are judging my feelings, on what they would feel like having to say no!
Another phrase I hear is "It's all right for you, you have a strong will power!" Words always fail me on that one! I do not have a strong will power I simply accept that I have a choice. If I want to put on weight, I shall have a muffin. But I do not want to put on weight, so I do not have a muffin. Simple!
To lose weight and keep it off requires hard work. Indeed any goal requires work.
Tiger Woods started playing golf at the age of 2!
A concert pianist practices for hours every day to keep on top form.
There is no magic wand, but I can testify that it does pay off in the end.
So is it unfair that you can't lose weight? Or can you change your thinking?
I am a Weight Management Coach and I help people with weight and food problems through changing the way that they think. I was a Chronic Dieter for over forty years and then I realised that all the diets in the world were not going to make any difference, until I could change the way I think and change my attitude towards not only food choices but my life style in general. I help people to see how they can change their thinking and beliefs and find a way out of the trap that they are in with the constant need to lose weight and overcome what they believe to be a flaw in themselves. Once you can obtain a belief in yourself and who you are, you will be confident in yourself and know for sure that you will win. You can download my free book "Reflections of a Chronic Dieter" when you subscribe to my newsletters on http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com. Look out for my forthcoming book "20 Ways to Tackle Your Struggle With Weight." Coming in September.
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